Are We Too old and Over Experienced…?

 

When I was a little girl, I never did understand the concept behind older women not wanting to tell their age. The minute a lady goes beyond 25, give or take a few years according to how confident she is, she goes all conscious about her age and the whole issue becomes one of high secrecy. I always thought I'd be happy to live my age, and that I'd always have the courage/ confidence required to, without any inhibition, share my age whenever asked; the years dared to disagree!
I was at the peak of my happiness when I turned 20, couldn’t be happier on my 21st birthday, was glowing on my 22nd , and I remember quite clearly to be jumping up and down on my 23rd birthday. Things seemed to change after that, and don't ask me why because no matter how hard I try I can't seem to get a decent answer. The minute I turned 23, something about the whole getting older issue started getting to me. I knew for a fact that 24 wasn't old, but the deal was, I was getting older.
That, in my mind, seemed to have a meaning, seemed to have an effect on me. This effect was neither positive nor negative; it was just a feeling. The very strange thing about this feeling is that it goes on for a while and then fades away. Meaning, the day I turned 24 could've been the worst day of my life; I felt "old" and unaccomplished, like my life had passed me by without me managing to get anything "influential" done. Give me a week's time and I realize just how "wow" it feels to be 24; I'm confident, secure and having a heck of a time with my age.
The exact same thing happens when I turn 25, but it gets a tad worse when I turn 26. Now this time, it's just a bit serious. I'm scared that 26 years (and read it like it's in caps lock) of my life have gone by like a light breeze; what have I accomplished for them? NOTHING, or at least I thought so. Today, 4 months have passed since my birthday and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it; I can't say I'm happy, confident and secure but I can't keep saying that I'm hating my life on account of it either. It's more like I've grown into it and doing my best to bring the best of it.